Sara: If I were to do a psychological testing or like an assessment I would say that someone threw me a cat because they want to domesticate me and pet me and somebody threw you a pink unicorn which is really gay and you are really gay.

Tegan: ...

Sara: I don't mean that throwing a unicorn is gay, I mean a unicorn is just gay. Someone recently told me a funny joke, and I then I told my mom the funny joke but it wasn't as funny because my mom didn't get the joke and thought it was real. So, here let me tell you the joke. I said to my mom "Mom did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks''

Sara: And my mom was like "You're kidding me!"

Ed (Interviewer): You guys are of fair complexion like I am, how's the sun treating you so far?

Sara: Well, we are trying to stay out of it. I put a lot of sunscreen lotion on.

Tegan: It was funny, our assistant was like 'Here, take some of my cream its got 15 sunblock in it' or what ever, and I was just like 'No, you're gonna need to go find 100 sunblock.' Or something like that.

Sara: I need a whole like body suit. I'm actually like head to toe in some sort of mosquito-

Tegan: I put it under my clothes just in case. I don't want to get a sunburn because we have two days off and I intend on making fun of all the crew. You know all the dudes are gonna have big red lobster faces and I'm gonna make fun of them.

Sara: We're just not accustom to heat in general. It's like the idea of being in heat and doing work is just not something that- in Canada when it's hot we take vacation. We're like France.

Tegan: Our joke, like around our group has been that were all covered in, you know like the skin on your bum. Your bum never really gets a tan. Well, our whole bodies are covered in

Tegan: that kind of skin because maybe we've had had a tan a couple times a year in our lives.

Ed: I just think it's adorable that they say bum.

Sara: *laughs* What do you say?

Ed: I'm crass. I would just say ass.

Tegan: Ass

Sara: *laughs*

Tegan: Okay. We're covered in ass skin.

Ed: Or Donkey.

Tegan: Donkey means bum?

Ed: Yeah. Like ba-donk-a-donk.

Sara: *understanding* Ohhhh yeah. yeah, yeah. I never knew what that meant. Oh gawd, we're so naive in Canada.

Tegan: Yeah. Well, I'm covered in donkey skin. But that makes me seem like I can take the heat.

Ed: It doesn't translate that same does it?

Sara: No.

Tegan: Is anyone claustrophobic here? A few people? Yup. The other day were we're in Paris and we took the train all day long, you know to go look at things, and we unfortunately had to take it home back to the hotel in rush hour. And I am very claustrophobic. When we were standing, about to get ready to get on the train, the doors opened and the train was full. Like if I was at home I would have been like 'I'll get the next one.'

Audience: *laughs like they know what's coming*

Tegan: But that's not how it works there. Every train is full. And so people would like launch themselves inside inside the train and just run into people. And this old woman who was like 85 years old did this. And she was very small and frail and the doors just kept closing on her. And nobody seemed alarmed not even a little bit. Everyone's just like

Tegan: And this old woman is just being crushed by the doors and we were all there and we were all like

Tegan: And then, as if it couldn't get worse, the old woman starts pulling her husband in with her. And I was like 'Oh my gawd. These people are going to die.' Just to get on the train. It was insane. So anyway, I was like we'll get the next one. So the next one pulls up and it's full. Like peoples faces are up against the glass. They're like

Tegan: Ans I was just like 'Oh my gawd'. So we all just like held onto each other like and like pushed onto the train and I was next to Al, our guitar tec, and Ted, our wonderful talented guitar player, and i was pushed into their chests. And I love men. I have a special affection for men. I don't date them, but I like to be close to them. That's why we have so many men on the road, for situations where i can stand really really close to them and just push my face up against their chests. i just love that feeling.

Sara: ...

Tegan: So, we got on the train and we get situated and I'm like 'Don't cry'. I put my hand up near my face so that i felt like I had some control of the situation. Then Ted or Al, I can't remember which one, was like 'Alright we made it! Only nine stops to go. I was like tears down my face, it was so upsetting. Anyway, that's sort of what you look like right now.